Yuyu wrote:MIIA,
its great they confide to you abt their issues... personally, I do agree dun tell their parents, otherwise next time you wont be able tok now their secrets le....
Unless big things happens.... or else, dun ever tell...
I got a similar experience...two of my staff have kids in teens...both mothers are super pek chek with their kids.
Very quickly...this is what I told them, after seeing my brother, cousins and friends and their kids...my conclusions
Age 0-10 (Instruct, reward and punishment aka Mr Cane routine)
Age 11-12 (instruct, reward, talk and punishment)
Age 13- onwards (talk to them like adults, punishment in the form of benefits restrictions and make them understand why certain things are done in certain ways...that is the time where they question the validity of the instructions you make)
Ok..I am not a father, but I am a brother, an uncle (got niece and nephews) and also a cousin to other cousins from 30 something to early teens)...I may not know a lot but I find that the kids that has always been disciplined early and parents slowly adjust their disciplining method to match their mental maturity actually train up pretty good kids.
My Eldest brother in law and sister in law has 3/2 wonderful kids...all are stable, mature and well-liked by peers and family alike...they are strict but fair...and treat them like adults if they show maturity.
I like that style...and will use this style.
